Oh the Holidays (Official Video)
1. |
Shaken! Not NOT Shaken!
02:48
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2. |
On Eggshells
02:44
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You were dealt a shitty hand my dear/ blistered by tragedy and fear
No no one stuck around when your life began to spiral down
The doctors couldn't rescue you. Spending just a week or two with other bleeding broken hearts. The world around you fell apart.
She's your only light ahead. "She's got my eyes." You've always said while sweating through hospital beds with bruised up arms and a clouded head.
Don't let her go. She is the light of your life, I swear that baby's got your eyes.
Let her go. The person that you used to be. Start another life, a new memory.
The heroin takes hold. A blanket for the bitter cold. You lose yourself in city bathrooms choking back handfuls of Valium. Twisting through abusive lovers. Selling sex for drugs and diapers. Killing yourself quietly with a bottle of what used to be.
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3. |
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Billy's stuck, a teenager devoid of empathy
A character inside a book he lives regretfully
And his parents always told him "Don't fuck around in school, you might get left behind."
Like the kid who shit the pool
Where did all the time go wrong? It wasn't at all like the songs we heard when we were young, the chorus always sung like:
Everything is ok (You woke up today)
And everything is alright (You're running right on time)
Life is always a mess (But you're just like the rest)
You're gonna figure yourself out someday.
Billy blinked between the minute and the hour hand
And suddenly he's 23, a nomad without plans and singing:
Everything was ok (But you went broke today)
And everything was alright (Until you lost time)
Life is still just a mess (You should've followed the rest)
I'm gonna figure myself out someday.
I swear I'm doing ok (You got a job today)
I swear I'm doing alright (You've got some extra time)
Life is always a mess (You're not like the rest)
I'm gonna figure myself out someday.
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4. |
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Conviction never faulted me when I could find the strength to eat
I invested everything I had, a pocket full of petty cash
Starvation had its perks. Weekends of endless work.
Pay out what I deserve. Tall order with a smirk.
My time and patience peter out. Recalculate and re-calibrate.
Re-plan replace the quickest route. Incinerating as I wait.
Obsession at its worst. A glutton with a curse.
Wait out the thinning gut. And I'll meet you at the curb.
Hey man. I know you didn't plan to work this late, I swear
Is it too weird to tell you that I love you?
And everything you've done. You are the better one.
I couldn't do this on my own.
Cardboard boxes, heated squares. I'd tear them open anywhere.
The heat, the smell, the atmosphere. The bottles of old, bitter beer.
Today I lost the fight and I'll be up all night.
But with you by my side I swear we're going to be alright.
You stood beside me through it all. You took the hits and I dropped the ball.
Blinded by gluttony this tragedy, the excess alcohol.
You help me when I'm down. Your warmth is all around.
I'm almost finished now. But let me say this because
Man, I didn't really plan to get so hurt by you
But I'd like to let you know that I still love you
And everything you are, and though we are apart
You'll always be the one.
Deep inside the crucible of deli meat and sandaled feet, a feline frozen fat upon the ice machine.
Where do all these auburn cats originate? Is this something the DOH is coming to investigate?
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5. |
Arrested Development
03:31
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Twenty six has hit so fast
I never thought that it’d last
Clocking out with every bitter passing year
Mom and dad I am sorry if I’ve let you down
I know you want the best for me somehow
I’m stuck in the middle somehow
Stranded and lost I’m caving in
I’m stuck in the middle somehow
Oh I broke your heart
Disaster is my work of art
As I struggle through the wreckage of my life
The optimist is dead
He left a note inside my head
A puzzle isn’t done until you get it right
Until then
I’m stuck in the middle somehow
Stranded and lost I’m caving in
I’m stuck in the middle somehow
I didnt know what else to do
I only hoped I’d left you hoping
So you could see that you’d pull through
I’m sorry if I ever failed you
I didnt know how bad you’re hurting
If I’d have known a thousand songs I’d write for you
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6. |
Undertit
02:10
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7. |
Parkway
03:46
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I couldn't see much ahead of me. I was too distracted by the earth. the trees, the evergreens and everything that wasn't me. The car began to sputter. Traction on the wheels gave way to icy broken concrete, cracked and caving in. I knew that this would happen, yet I still went driving knowing desperately I'd crash and burn so far away from the exit that I knew would take me home. I never thought I'd make it anyway. I made my choice, I flipped the car. Is everyone ok with that? I left without a single bag packed. I didn't think about the future but circling the past was torture.
I lingered for a while, catching my breath beside a phone booth. The dinosaur of a future long forgotten in the past. I struggled holding on to what I had, my patience growing thin with every drive you took away from me to somewhere that I couldn't see. You left. I wasn't going to wait for less. You didn't think about the future and waiting for you felt like torture.
Now you're dying underneath a frozen sky. You could've been ok if you had tried. You forgot about the comfort in the phone booth you traded in just for a bluetooth. And now your car is broken, you are stuck between two places that have given up waiting on you to come back home. You dug this grave, you built this hole.
You used to smile when I spoke and now you're laughing as I choke. I just can't breathe, my lung's collapsing, crushing weight from my own actions. I never thought I'd be this wasted, I never thought I'd feel this pain. I took the world for granted.
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8. |
Agoraphobic
02:49
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I can't wake up on sunday mornings anymore
I can't wake up most days at all
And even if I did the world would fall apart
A flower to a wrecking ball
This world is made of glass and I am heavy handed
Cover me in sheets and blankets. Just let my bedroom swallow me whole.
I walk around with a rattle in my pocket
My bones they shake by the front door
I move to the rhythm of a vicious cycle
I stand still as I slip right through the floor
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